We're facebook friends in real life
Sponge bath it is.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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