just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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