I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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