Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize