I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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