his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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