I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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