Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
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He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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