He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize