i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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