We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize