My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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