Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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