Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
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We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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