we have officially lost it.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
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so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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