maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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