I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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