I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize