My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
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Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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