If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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