I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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