It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
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The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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