i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize