I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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