the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize