I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
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Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
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You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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