Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
