His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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