do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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