in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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