Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize