hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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