I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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