Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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