i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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