ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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