why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
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she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
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This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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