Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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