idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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