theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize