i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize