Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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