So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize