man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize