can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Drunk is a universal language darling
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize