I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize