I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize