oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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