there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize