i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
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there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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