Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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